.png)
Certain life changes, like the pandemic lockdowns, can rock us to our cores. For instance, Halyn Gamboa, a local artist from Calamba, Laguna, struggled with existential crisis during the lockdown last year. Halyn found herself on a limbo, so to speak, between not being a student anymore and being unemployed while the pandemic was ongoing in 2020. Halyn felt like being suspended into a midair of nothing, and it was difficult, until a friend unexpectedly expressed interest with her art. That seemed, for Halyn, a light bulb moment, enabling her to transform the challenge into an opportunity to reflect more about her life and eventually create music.
After months of reflecting, the 22-year-old local artist a.k.a. Gymno released her debut album in September last year with 9 calming yet haunting songs called, "Pandemonium." In this story, Halyn shares her music creation process, as well as her learnings after successfully releasing her first album.
"Nung una, floating concept lang siya. Hindi ko alam that time kung saan ako mags-start. Then, I met this friend. Naging friend ko siya this pandemic because he was interested with my work. Eh syempre, natuwa ako kasi out of nowhere, may naka-recognize ng kaya kong gawin. I was so happy and surprised back then. And then ni-link niya ko dun sa manager ko, si Mac Arboleda. So ayun, nag-usap kaming dalawa then pinitch ko yung idea ng 'Pandemonium,' which kind of like a wordplay ng pandemic and also because it’s the capital of hell from Milton’s Paradise Lost. Very fitting. Then yung 9 tracks naka-pattern sa 9 Circles of Hell ni Dante. That’s pretty much the working structure of the album."
"Yung opening song, 'Orphans'. It talks about being in Limbo. Limbo is a place sa hell na dun napupunta yung mga not really sinners, but non-believers. Ang punishment mo dun bilang isang non-believer is endless stagnation. So yung message is to escape from that space. Then "Lolita," Circle of Lust. Yung Lolita highly personal siya kasi nasulat ko na siya nung high school pa when I was grappling to actually express yung pag-condemn sa mga pangka-catcall. Dati kasi, wala pang pangalan yan eh, pero collective experience siya ng mga babae. I also read the book of Lolita. Dun sa book na yun, Pedophile ang protagonist. And the girl, Lolita, codename for Dolores, siya yung sine-sexualize. Dun pa lang sa act ng naming, may exhibition na ng power. The song essentially is about reclaiming the name of Lolita. And so on. All of these originate from my love for reading. Iba yung regard ko kasi sa words and I took that from my Grandfather. Actually, nilabas ko siya nung September 23, birthday ng Lolo ko. Meron siyang sinabi sakin dati na ‘words are weapons.'
You can use words as a weapon against your enemy, and at the same time, they can also heal. Mere words can comfort others. Words can transcend any channel and for me, music is just one way of transcending words..."
"Yung process ko was naging highly intuitive siya. For example, yung mga strings in the background, it’s more of like ‘okay, it sounds good, it sounds right.’ When I was creating the sound, it’s more of a ‘come what may.’ You just welcome what you create. When I was writing the songs kasi, I don’t usually think about what it would look or sound like. I don’t mind a lot of the creative process. I focused more in the process of writing and creating them...
And when I write, I take mental notes. I write my reflections dun sa mga sinusulat kong lyrics but I just reflect on the process after the process itself (like any creative ventures). When I reflect, tina-try kong tanggalin yung biases ko (to make room for what's really happening). Reminds me of the concept of bracketing sa phenomenology na natutunan ko nung nagti-thesis ako."
"I didn’t want my songs to sound 'too preachy, too angry, too loud'. I just want to tell a story—that this is what’s been happening inside and outside my head and you’re welcome to stay there as long as you like. Back when I was writing the album, I was watching Basquiat’s documentaries because I’ve always been intrigued about his style. It’s very cryptic, but you can feel that there’s too much history in his works. Then there’s this thing that he said that had stuck with me ever since: he scribbles over words because the more that you try to hide something, the more people will want to look at it. That idea inspired the whole vibe of the album. I wanted it to be subtle—subtly remorseful, subtly angry—like, come here, you, I have something important to share and I like you to think about it."
"I want my songs to tell people to ‘listen to me, here’s what’s happening, and that you can do something.’ Kase sometimes you can be mad, but if you can’t make people listen to you, the message won't come across. I intend to make people think about my songs, but that's not always the case, and that's fine. Minsan may mga nagtatanong, did you make this to be revolutionary? Sometimes, I just don’t want to talk about the intention of the artist anymore. Though of course, I recognize the accountability of the artist but at the same time kase, asking this shifts the discussion. People who ask these often assume na hindi ina-analyze ng listeners mo yung songs mo...
Kumbaga, you recognize na meron din silang pag-iisip, na they have their own way of interpreting. They’re not mere numbers, hindi lang sila analytics sa Spotify. They are listeners. If their understanding didn't align with my intention, that’s fine. Basta the point is, I want people to reflect, or at least wonder when they listen to my songs."
"Natuwa talaga ako sa pag-take ng tao sa Pandemonium. Sabi nila yung sound daw ng music ko sobrang other-worldly. Some also describe it as trascendental. Nung pinapakinggan ko yung mga songs ko, tintanong ko kung ako nga ba talaga sumulat nun. Hindi ako sa adept sa music theory. I can’t even read notes. Tsaka natutuwa ako kasi may mga hindi ako kakilala na listeners and they’re appreciating the songs. Warmly, tinanggap siya ng tao."
"What I learned in the process? Siguro, don’t be too hard on yourself kasi may mga days ako na ‘tangina, wala akong output today.’ So magpa-panic ako pero na-realize ko na the more I panic, the more na hindi ako makakausad. So, don’t be too hard on yourself. It's okay! Kahit maliit man yan na progress, progress pa rin yan. Tsaka ang maganda kasi, parang yun na yung naging way ko to escape from my routines. It takes my mind off of certain things without completely shutting down.
Sobrang importante din yung pagre-recognize ng iba sa kayang mong gawin. Sobrang halaga na kahit may isa lang, kahit isa lang, na naniniwala sayo, na you can actually do something. When I was creating, yung mga taong inaasahan kong susuporta sa’kin, hindi masyadong nakita yung value ng ginagawa ko. So, dun na-test yung 'to what extent will I be willing to trust myself, to take the risk?.' Pero yun, if your friends are planning to do something, believe in them. Malaking bagay yun."
"Lastly, siguro limitations breed creativity talaga. All of it, the production process, lahat yan ginawa ko lang sa bahay. Nasa room lang yung lahat ng gamit ko. Share pa kami ng kapatid ko ng room tapos minsan, nags-schedule kami para lang makapag-record ako. Sa familiy ko, sobrang thankful ako sa kanila. Sobrang supportive ng mga kapatid ko, ang swerte ko sa kanila..."
"I think worth it yung naging process. Masakit kasi marami akong na-realize at kailangang tanggapin na limitations ko pero masaya kasi natuto rin ako eh. It was fun making something that people will hopefully remember. I guess, it’s the beginning of something, something bigger for me maybe? Thanks to my friends who believed in me. Araw-araw isa lang naiisip ko kahit ano'ng ginagawa or hindi ko ginagawa: I just wanna make more, write more until my head and hands hurt."
